Before the First Invitation: Five Questions to Start Planning a Party

Before you send a single invitation, five key decisions will shape everything about your party — and getting clear on them up front saves you hours of backtracking later. Get ready to start planning your party.

If you are doing an easy get-together, usually this part is a breeze – just skim over the topics that are most meaningful for you.

However, if you are going for a more elaborate shindig you may want to spend some time reading through each section.  You’ll find ways you can easily start your party planning, from lists, pros and cons to specific examples.

The First Five Questions to Start are:

1. What is Your Party About?
2. When Will You Have Your Party?
3. Where Will You Have Your Party?
4. How Many and Who to Invite to Your Party?
5. How Much is Your Party Budget?

1. What is Your Party About?

Knowing what the party is about should be the easiest question! You don’t need a significant occasion to have a party, but often there is a reason.  Are you celebrating something?  Is your event going to be a fundraiser? Is this party part of a club gathering?  

You’ll want to convey the purpose of your party to your guests – as it helps give them more of a reason to attend and manage what is expected of them.

Do I need a reason?

The reason can be that you just want to have a good time with your friends. It can also be a specific occasion, fundraiser, or opportunity to network.  

 If you have a very specific reason, you’ll want to convey it directly in the invitation such as “Let’s Celebrate Megan’s 40^th birthday,” or “Join us for a special fundraising dinner”.

To Theme or Not to Theme

Once you know the reason, you can determine if you want to use a theme to further define what your party will be about. It can be a slight nod incorporated in the title the party, like “A Summer Celebration”. Or it can be something you heavily incorporate throughout your invite, décor, menu and entertainment, like “Tour of France”.

If you plan to have a series of parties or an annual occurrence, having a unique theme each time provides something new and different. It provides fresh entertainment value for your guests to look forward.   

Defining your reason and possible theme first sets the tone for every decision that follows.  It doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind about it later. In fact, you may change your mind or adjust your initial ideas as you progress through planning. 

Also remember, you do not have to go overboard and incorporate with every little detail. You will want to look at your party as a whole and figure out how much time, energy and budget to invest first.

For some initial ideas check out “Five Wine Pairing Themes to Elevate Your Party.“

^ BACK TO TOP

2. When Will You Have Your Party?

You next step to start party planning is when precisely to have it. But you don’t have an exact date yet, it is easier to start broad. You can first identify a the season that works best, then narrow down to month, and finally commit to the day and time. 

If your party is around a specific event, like a birthday, you may already have a narrow window for timing.  So you’ll be looking for that date or adjacent dates.

If you aren’t limited to a very specific date yet, you have more flexibility to account for availability of yourself, any helpers/vendors, your guests and the venue.  Having broad strokes at first can be less stressful and potentially easier on your budget.

Seasonal Considerations

Time of the year is an important factor with availability of guests, venues and potentially menu options. There is no absolute no-go about for any one season, just be aware of how it may influence your event.

• Spring (March – May): With weather warming up and increased hours of sunlight, people start to want to get out and do things. Farmers markets tend to start back, and you see fresher local produce.  The holidays/travel times that impact availability include Spring Break, Easter, Passover, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day. Check local events as well.
• Summer (June – August):  If milder climates this is a great time to have outdoor events (in hotter climates – consider later evenings).   However, there’s going to be a lot of competition.  It’s wedding season and vacation season this whole stretch. And it’s when people like to have parties and events – so double check what’s going on in your area to find your niche party date.
• Fall (Sept – Nov): The top of this season is a sweet spot for having a party as you have a stretch before winter holidays approach.  A lot of people are back from vacations, you get the end of farmers markets and local produce, and the weather is cooling but still agreeable.
• Winter (Dec – Feb): If you want your party during the winter holiday season (Nov-New Years) start planning and finding your vendors as early as possible. Things get busy. That’s not to say it’s impossible, it’s just something to plan well in advance. After New Years there is usually a lull in venues (except for Valentines Day.) A bigger obstacle will be the weather if you live in an area that gets snowed in or drenched in rain during this time.

Which Month to Block

 Once you have an idea of a compatible season, being open to a range of 1-2 months will help you assess general availability of guests and start looking at vendors.  You will also want to determine if you are open to any day of the week or really want to stick to weekends. 

• Conflict Management: With a medium to larger-sized party, look at various social calendars to see if there’s a good opening for your party. 
• Club Calendars: If you are working through a club or organization that has several events throughout the year that they share with members. Even if you are not a member, they will likely share with you if there’s any conflicts.
• Local Events: You can check local newspapers that usually have a calendar section or area that promotes upcoming events. There may be parades, festivals, galas. You may also try reviewing larger event congregators like Ticketmaster. 

Date & Time Details

This is the final nitty gritty details that you’ll put on your invite. You need to select a date and define your start time. You don’t have to declare an end time on your invite, but you should have one in mind.

Day of the Week

People tend to be more available on the weekends, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t appreciate a party mid-week. Sometimes you can get better rates and greater availability of certain venues outside of the weekend. 

When you have your date in mind, you can pencil into your calendar. It’s also a good time to put together a rough schedule. You can use my basic 3-month and 4-week schedule templates.

Duration- Start and End Time

First consider how long you expect your party to be. There are some general assumptions where bigger events and dinners are 4 hours, and cocktail parties are about 2 hours.  Weddings and big galas can be for 5+ hours.  Parties that have food and some activities, like a murder mystery game, should expect at least 3 hours.

The other key factor for how long you can have a party is if you have a venue with restrictions. Which may include setup and cleaning time.  Speaking of cleaning up, consider your own personal level of endurance. 

For example, when we host a 5 course Wine Pairing Dinner, we care for about 4 hours of party time. Set, clean up and pack out are in addition, but our hosted home venue allows us that extra time.

Should you put an end time on your invitation?

It’s not a bad idea to give guests an idea of when things should wrap up. Especially if it involves a multi-course meal, staggered wine tasting or an activity they would want to participate in fully.

^ BACK TO TOP

3. Where Will You Have Your Party?

The place where you will hold your party will greatly impact both the number of guests you can have and the budget.  Likely at this point, you have an idea if you’re opting for a home-based venue or a third-party venue.

Home-Based Venues

This can be your home, a friend’s place or just someone else’s place they are offering up for your party.  This is usually the easiest option, especially for smaller groups. However, there is some give and take in this setup. It’s good to outline exactly what you have and what you may need to bring in to have the event there.

Pros:

• Budget friendly: Not only are you not paying a rental fee, but a home also comes with many amenities that you may otherwise pay extra or even a premium for.   
• Full kitchen – if it’s not your own home, you need to verify what parts of the kitchen can be used, as well as supplies and such.
• Broad availability: usually you are able to have several hours pre party time for set-up and post party clean up.

Cons:

• Parking: street parking can be tricky for your guests. Check on how much is naturally available or how far away guests may need to go. 
• Limited Space: While you don’t have to have full sit-down dinner accommodation, there needs to be enough spots for folks to sit down and put their plate down.  If you must bring in extra chairs, how does that impact how many people fit comfortably in this space?  How much space do you need for serving food? 
• All the Cleaning: You’ll be on the hook for the cleaning before and after. Especially if someone else graciously hosted your event, you can’t just walk away from the mess.
• Temperature Control: A lot of people in a smaller space plus cooking using ovens and stove will dramatically raise the temperature in your house. Will that be an issue?
• Neighbor conflict: It is a courtesy to give your next-door neighbors a heads up if you are going to have a larger party – as it impacts noise level and parking availability. Even with this, some may be disagreeable during or after the event.  It’s good to consider if you feel they may be a problem.

Third-Party Venues

There is a whole host of possibilities and costs when considering a third-party place. It’s important to have key contact information and then know what the terms are, what the venue includes and what it specifically doesn’t include (or even restrictions).

If you don’t even have specific venue yet, you can start with some general types of venues. And there are a lot of services willing to help you find a place to rent in your area.

• Private Restaurant Rooms
• Bars/Pubs with party rooms or Rooftop Bars/Decks
• Cafes/ Bars/ Pubs event spaces
• Boutique Shops/Store Fronts
• Art Galleries/Small Museums
• Loft/Studio Spaces/ Work Lounges
• Hotel conference rooms

Pros:

• Clean Start: usually a pre-cleaned space to start with. Some venues will even care for all the clean up afterwards.
• Parking: many have lots of parking options including valet.
• Potential Staff: they may include a certain level of staff such as food servers or event coordinator to help you.
• All-inclusive options: Venues like restaurants, bars, and hotels usually require you to use their catering services. Other venues that are used regularly for parties may have specific or preferred catering services that know how to work with the space already.  
• Elbow Room: When you expand the potential of where to host a party, you start to see the potential for a larger party or at least more elbow room. You can judge your venue options based on how it best accommodates the number of guests you want to include.

Cons:

• Costs: it can get expensive, quickly.
• Limited Availability: both for the date and time of the event, as well as pre- and post-party access
• More Logistics: if it’s not an all-inclusive type of venue (such as a restaurant) you may need to coordinate a lot more elements to bring your party together. 
• Potential Restrictions: While inclusive set-ups may be great on the flip side this can limit what you can offer. They may also have other restrictions that may not fit your vibe.
• Additional Permits: if you are doing an event in a public space and serving alcohol, you may need to get a special permit.  In Washington State, you can request a banquet permit if you are serving alcohol at a private, invite only party that’s held in a public space. Check your local city/state requirements so you don’t get in trouble. 

Venue Check List

Either option you choose, it’s good to create a check list of what you are looking for and what you need it to have. 

Some items may include:

• Food Set up: kitchens or food prep areas, sinks, potable water, refrigerator and/or freezer (with space), tables/buffets available
• Guest set up: seating, tables, coat/bag spot, bathrooms, parking, accessibility, people capacity
• Special considerations: a view, outside space (deck, patio, garden), specific location, availability
• No-go situations: restricted vendor use, extra fees, corkage fee

^ BACK TO TOP

4. How Many and Who to Invite?

Number of Guests

A small intimate group is going to be very different affair than a larger gathering of 30 people. And if you’re thinking 50+ people, you may be in the realm of hiring an event coordinator (or a venue that has one).  The total headcount for your party will impact not only your budget but your time.  

As an example, our Wine Party Event has to strike a balance between too small and too many.  Groups under 20 usually have a higher per-person cost. While this makes the overall budget lower, the total donations are lower as well.   We found our sweet spot is to plan for about 30 attendees total (guests + volunteers +10% overs). This is manageable for our venue, enables better access to bulk supplies, and brings in solid donation amount for the charity. 

Party size considerations

Small Parties 10 -20 people

• Budget-friendly
• Works with In-home venues
• Easy to manage
• Planning can be just a few weeks out

Mid-Sized 30-50 people

• Consider third-party venues, or indoor/outdoor set up for in-home
• Catering, Separate Cook or “potluck” set up
• Well planned budget and good expense tracking
• More overall logistics, but still manageable for one person to head up
• Planning will need to start several months out

Large 100+ people

• Professional event coordinatororcommitteeto manage logistics
• Third-party venue with capacity
• Extensive budget and good expense tracking
• Needs to be well staffed (or well-trained team of volunteers)
• Planning should start at least four months out or longer

Starting a Guest List

If you are going outside your tight-knit circle of friends for this party, you will want to create a guest list plan to map to the number of guests you have capacity for.  

For a guest plan, you should consider starting a spreadsheet with this information:

• A description or list of your target or ideal guests. These may include anchor guests that are socially popular or known to liven things up.
• Notes on how you are connected through groups like clubs, work, associations
• How you will invite them (mailed invite, email, club sign-up sheet)
• What information do you have for these guests currently vs what you may need
• If you are allowing plus one’s or kids

How Many to Invite?

The average decline rate for party invite is 20%, and the average no-show is 4% to a “yes” RSVP. However, if you have a hard maximum of 30 people, it would be a bit risky to invite 40 people right out of the gate.  Here are some tips on getting the ideal number of attendees from the number of guests you invite.

• Set a Target: Aim for a number of attendees 10% under your maximum guest number. You max guest number will be max capacity – host – any helpers that impact it.   This will give you that bit of buffer you may need.
• Prioritize List: this can be those you feel you must invite, those you feel most likely to attend, people from groups that may feel hurt if not included when everyone else was. 
• Potential Plus One’s: consider if you know if someone has a partner they will likely bring (married or otherwise).  Assign the number of likely total attendees for each person you invite. 
• Stagger Sends: Consider sending your invitations in two waves, two weeks apart with staggered RSVP dates.
  • First wave – based on priority and counting total potential attendees per guest listed, send 20% over your target attendee amount.
  •  If you get more than 20% “no” RSVPs early on, you can send another wave of invites to fill in the gaps.

Open Invitation – General Group List

For a scenario like a party fundraiser, you can broadcast an invitation to a group requesting they sign up to attend as there is limited seating.  Whether a flyer, a note in a newsletter, an email, or even Face Book event. This is more inclusive and less personal, especially if they know it is for a good cause. And the benefit is you can clearly control the amount of sign ups size of the party.

 If there is a donation or cost required for attending, you should have terms on cancellation deadline and no shows. Pretty much each time we do our Wine Party fundraiser about 2-3 cancel that may be able to replace, and about 2-3 people are no shows.   

^ BACK TO TOP

5. How Much is Your Party Budget?

You may have a total dollar amount already in your head.  Even if you don’t at this time, it’s a good practice to break out your budget into category buckets.

You’ll want to list out all of the things you will need, provide details or expectations where you can, and prioritize the most important elements.  This will help you build a realistic budget that you can follow.

Budget Categories with Some Cost Examples

• Restaurants: $200-$1,000+
• Specialty spaces: $1,000-$5,000+
• Parks/community centers: $50-$300

• E-invites & Services: $0 to $99
• DIY Invitations: xxxx , plus postage
• Printing invitations: under $1 – $3 per card, plus postage

• Floral Simple Centerpieces: $60–$100
• Floral Medium/Low-Profile: $100–$175
• Floral Tall/Dramatic: $250–$500+
• Floral DYI Options: $15–$50 per
• Signs/Posters DIY printed: $15–$60
• Customized Professional $100–$300+

• Small Party – home-cook, light bites: under $200
• Small Party –home-cook full dinner: $15 – $30 per person
• Multi Course – home cook: $20 – $40 per person
• Light/Buffet Catering: $15-$50  per person
• Full Catering: $ 70-150+ per person
• High End Events: $150+ per person

• Wine Tasting (10 pours / bottle): $15-$20 per bottle, ½ bottle per guest
• Dinner Party 2+ hour: $10 – $30 per bottle, 1 bottle per guest
• General Parties (does not include staff)
  • Beer & Wine only: $15-$25
  • Full Bar (standard): $25 – $35
  • Premium Open Bar: $35-$50+

• Murder Mystery boxed games: $40 -$55
• DJ’s: $400–$900 for 4–5 hours
• Acoustic Musicians: $400 – $600+

• High-end disposable plates: $0.30 – $1.50 each
• Eco-friendly plates: $0.15 – $0.40 each
• High-end disposable dessert cups: $0.25 – $1 each
• High-end utsensils sets: $ per setting
  • Some come as pre-wrapped in dinner napkins
• Decorative cocktail napkins: pack of 20 for $6
• Linen-feel dinner napkins: pack of 50 for $16
• High-end bulk specialty napkins: $0.10 – $0.30 each
• Plastic wine glasses: $0.35 – $1.30 each
• (find examples and links to these supplies in the Wares section)

Next Steps – Timing and Inspiration!

Once you have answered these five questions you have started your party plan with a solid foundation.  Next is to begin blocking out your early planning and known deadlines.  You can find out more about schedules and timing on the Main Planning Page.

My other recommendation is to get inspired. Throwing a party should be fun! After all the number crunching, its good to get your creative juices flowing. You can start shopping around for decor ideas. Or, my personal favorite, explore menu ideas. You can take a look through all my themed menus to get started. Enjoy!